Friday, February 22, 2008

drink . dance . breathe . dream


drink
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dance
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Woke this morning in that place half here, half dreaming.  For a moment had this faint sense my breathing was actually boat oars rowing me through a slowly trembling body of water.  

I was the boat, the oars, the water, the dream. When I breathed well, I moved along with the rhythm and pattern of the oars--jutted across the water.  It was so beautiful. When I barely breathed, I stopped, floated; maybe even drifted (aimlessly).  All a bit mystical, like a fog lifting over something deep.

Wish I were a painter, or something like that, to show some of the things I have been seeing in meditation--fantastic images, colors. Of course, the thing seen inwardly is hard to translate into any kind of language... I so wish there was a way to catch the feel of things sometimes, to turn them outward... just so I won't lose what is glimpsed. To share it. 

We all feel this way, after dreams.  Like you found something. Secret. Delicious. Beyond description or knowing? Half-awake, half aware you have been writing inside a book, or making a new art, or seeing amazing architecture... images.  You go groggy to paper to put it down, and its all stuck. Crumbled.  Daylight erases the inner life and you stand there half naked, alive.  Awake.

Maybe that is what coffee is for... to jolt us open.
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I wish I had something better to say. Feel a little dumbfounded the past days.  I almost put coffee cream in the cabinet instead of back in the fridge.  Once, I put the keys in the refridgerator. :)  It took a while to find them.  Too much writing does this sometimes -- does it happen to you? Some people never lose their focus.  Some do.  It is funny (fun, too) to be human!
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Someone just asked me "do we have a chordless extension chord?" 

Its from the Boston comedian Steven Wright ...  a phrase so "right" for what I feel right now.  
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drink . dance . breathe . dream . create .
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Posted by Mansuetude at 16:53:39 | Permanent Link | Comments (7) |
Comments
1 - you ARE a painter. get out your (other) "brush"! (Comment this)

Written by: disa at 2008/02/22 - 23:08:47
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2 - M, "I was the boat, the oars, the water, the dream." I think you translate the untranslatable, or is it, the as yet untranslated, very well.

Thanks for stopping by. We have a lot of dying going on here, and it is very stressful for the living and the dying. My 91-year-old father-in-law and 90-year-old mother-in-law are ending their lives, one in the fog of Alzheimer's, the other in a dream of denial. (Comment this)

Written by: Chuck at 2008/02/23 - 12:52:53
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3 - disa, thanks. i think the inner thing is so light stroked, its impossible for me to even dream of dreaming it outward.

Chuck, my heart goes out to you there. In my twenties it lived years a russian roulette kind of stress--sick great grandparents, grandparents, cancer, fatal accidents... it sweeps through the whole family, eats so much energy. I send thoughts of increased Peace to you and your family. (Comment this)

Written by: Mansuetude at 2008/02/23 - 18:20:11
4 - When I'm tired I tend to open the cupboard instead of the microwave when trying to warm up my coffee:) (Comment this)

Written by: bookbabie at 2008/02/25 - 13:46:34
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5 - bookbabie~ that's funny. Yesterday i heard the thought, "you'll never eat the sunlight by looking in the cabinet"! It was a "warming" thought--or something about spirit. (Comment this)

Written by: Mansuetude at 2008/02/25 - 13:52:33
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6 - M, a few days ago my wife called me a grumpy verb. (Comment this)

Written by: Chuck at 2008/03/04 - 01:49:32
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7 - i love this! you made me laugh! Sooooo. :) (Comment this)

Written by: Mansuetude at 2008/03/04 - 07:23:05
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