Tumbleword

Woke this morning in that place half here, half dreaming.  For a moment had this faint sense my breathing was actually boat oars rowing me through a slowly trembling body of water.  

I was the boat, the oars, the water, the dream. When I breathed well, I moved along with the rhythm and pattern of the oars–jutted across the water.  It was so beautiful. When I barely breathed, I stopped, floated; maybe even drifted (aimlessly).  All a bit mystical, like a fog lifting over something deep.

Wish I were a painter, or something like that, to show some of the things I have been seeing in meditation–fantastic images, colors. Of course, the thing seen inwardly is hard to translate into any kind of language… I so wish there was a way to catch the feel of things sometimes, to turn them outward… just so I won’t lose what is glimpsed. To share it. 

We all feel this way, after dreams.  Like you found something. Secret. Delicious. Beyond description or knowing? Half-awake, half aware you have been writing inside a book, or making a new art, or seeing amazing architecture… images.  You go groggy to paper to put it down, and its all stuck. Crumbled.  Daylight erases the inner life and you stand there half naked, alive.  Awake.

Maybe that is what coffee is for… to jolt us open.
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I wish I had something better to say. Feel a little dumbfounded the past days.  I almost put coffee cream in the cabinet instead of back in the fridge.  Once, I put the keys in the refridgerator. :)  It took a while to find them.  Too much writing does this sometimes – does it happen to you? Some people never lose their focus.  Some do.  It is funny (fun, too) to be human!
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Someone just asked me “do we have a chordless extension chord?” 

Its from the Boston comedian Steven Wright …  a phrase so “right” for what I feel right now.  
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drink . dance . breathe . dream . create .
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It is just so amazingly beautiful here today.  Is it spring?  The door is open, and balmy air as if mailed by a secret lover on holiday from a place tropical, blue azure sky and sea.

It will be springtime soon enough.  ~ talked to one sister last night about her trip here last spring, this year she wants to come when the flowers are all in bloom–dogwoods, magnolias.  Today, the weather, makes me see Spring will be here in no time at all, then summer (and new memories, new experiences, changed atmosphere of the inner life…) Its nice!

To be alive!  To know that tomorrow or the day after, new gardens and new people open up on our path~ new gifts ~ the aahhh haa experience of wonder and that thing that happens when we say, Yes, yes! I get that now! I understand a new aspect of myself.  I learned a lot these last three months about myself and other things by blogging.  I was never one to go online, unless to look some info up or look at art. 

Sometimes I feel like a virgin blooger, a weenie around the others who are used to what it is that happens out there~ wherever it is that things happen.  I’m not sure it is even for me, this whole blog thing, its a bit too like sticking post it notes onto things that for me would ask more slow, honor~ing kind of attention.  I like to encounter things and people, and then go away and let it “happen” inside me, then when we meet again, enjoy the syntax (the almost visual and language movement) of how things open up, get re-installed into focus, talked about… then as we go away to our lives, we meet again and bring something up again, its an ongoing living (live) dialogue that happens and builds within people… but it doesn’t happen, or +Breathe+ (which is the root of inspiration==to add breath, take in) the same on a comment page.  

Anyway… ~~~ i can sit it out when i go exploring.
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    *notes to self*

    there is a field of rain
    inside it, voices.
    a lantern glows

    and goes on glowing
    no matter how you choose 
    to love or live.

  ~~ !! ) 0 ooo ==o0000.